Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
