I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
