the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
