Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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