How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
