just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
