how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
