So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
