Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
