Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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