She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
