The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
