You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
