She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
