thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
