it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
