I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The beers last night were like the tears from god
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
