i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
