He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
