people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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