I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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