addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
