talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
