rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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