Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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