he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
What happened to fro yo and sex?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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