someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He's on the porch naked. Help.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
