dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
