using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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