I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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