Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
