I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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