4 words: hood of his car
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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