i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
