he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
