Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
