I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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