stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
