so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
