She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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