But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I have aggressive nipples.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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