You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
