Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
