Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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