I'm really into asian looking animals
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
the liver wants what the liver wants
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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