The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
How's work?
Spinning.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
