so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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