We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
