3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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