I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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