is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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